Three powerful ways to “get it started” and be yourself!

Let’s get it started, in here … and the base keeps runnin’ runnin’, and runnin’ runnin’, and runnin’ runnin’, and runnin runnin’ … —The Black Eyed Peas, “Let’s Get It Started”

One of my friends does a lot of running around; she is constantly doing so many things in the course of the day. She has even referred to herself as being the “Energizer Bunny” because she feels she flits around, here, there and everywhere — going, going and going.

I am sure many of us can relate to her. And though I try not being my friend’s therapist, I couldn’t resist asking her what she feels like with all of her “running.” She answered by saying she feels like there is a relentless need inside of her to keep busy and that it is really hard for her to slow down. She also said she doesn’t like to slow down for fear she would have to face the silence. Being in silence and in a state of calm, she would feel pressured to face her thoughts and feelings that would catch up with her.

Though most of us today are so tempted to focus on all of the running around, and what is going on outside of us, spiritual and psychological experts continue to maintain that the real action is what goes on within us. That is the best place to start when we want to think about being our authentic selves. In order to become authentic, we need to make a conscious choice to turn inward, to face the silence and simply be present. Here are three ways to get that started:

1.  We need to become aware of and accepting of everything that is going on within us. Most of us carry around a lot of mental baggage that can block us from living authentically in total joy and happiness. We need to learn how to untangle ourselves from negative thought patterns, negative memories and negative story lines. Those negativities can sabotage our motives without us even realizing it. In order to be authentic, we have to clear any stuck “stuff” by not trying to escape it.

“One thing you can’t hide is when you’re crippled inside.” —John Lennon

2.  We need to listen to and face our emotions! Everyone has them. They are a barometer for us, signals for us to do something — that’s it. Yet, many of us try to avoid experiencing them, especially if presumed indifferent. And doing so comes at the high price of crippling us. Experts in health and psychology posit what damage not dealing with emotions can do to us physically and psychologically. We can’t will them away. Fear lies underneath many of our emotions that do not feel pleasant. We, however, need to know what we are afraid of and face what our emotions are telling us. If we don’t, we are not being who we truly are — human beings with emotions.

“Children learn what they live.” —Dorothy Law Nolte, Ph.D.

3.  We must remember that we always have choices. When we were children, we were not always given as many choices as we may have liked. Ultimately, we adapted to the choices our parents made for us, which helped us to form many of our earliest beliefs. We continued to grow those beliefs with our own perceptions and experiences. Often, those perceptions can lead us to rigid thinking and negative thoughts that determine our choices. We act from them instead of thinking about what we really desire. When this happens, we need to learn how to make conscious decisions instead of unconscious ones. Our best choices are informed choices that are heartfelt and connected to our intuition. In this way, we think for ourselves instead of what we think society or someone else expects. It is making an effort to take the time to know what we value.

“Be at least as interested in what goes on inside of you as what happens outside. If you get the inside right, the outside will fall into place.” —Eckhart Tolle, from “The Power of Now”

When we are able to practice going within, we will have both the desire and the ability to be what we feel in our hearts instead of what we think in our heads. We can then be confident in our choices to live out our innate wisdom. Then we can begin living out our dreams by asserting our authentic self!

This article originally posted Natures Pathways September 2013



Jill E. Greinke, MSW, LCSW, SAC, is a holistic psychotherapist and transformational consultant specializing in transformational counseling and coaching, group coaching, workshops, teleconferences, presentations, speaking engagements and consultations. To get her free report, “Five Steps to Miraculous Living,” visit her at

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